Last post I talked a little about how my husband and I came to the decision that we’d by a single income family, thus
depromoting me to a stay at home mom.
18 months ago I quit my job. It was a good job. Paid decently, room for advancement and all that. It just didn’t pay me enough to keep doing it, thus keeping the kids in daycare. Don’t get me wrong, I loved our daycare. The teachers were amazing, the centre itself was so homey and comfortable. My girls loved it there, and we loved sending them there. But, as with all daycares in SW Ontario it seems, they were pricey. And it was them or me, and I’m awesome so I won.
My first week home was the first week of December 2012. I was all geared up to focus on Christmas shopping, decorating my fireplace mantel, and doing seasonal crafts with my beasts. I was going to have the cleanest house on the street, invite people over for home-cooked meals during the week, and I would conquer Mount Laundry once and for all. I had visions of how my perfect little family was going to appreciate all that I had given up for them, and they would love me 100x more than they already do.
So, yeah…that shit didn’t really happen. Some has never happened (clean house, supreme adoration) and some only just recently happened (so long Mount Laundry!) But it’s still a job I won’t be quitting any time soon. Here’s why…
Less stress on the family. Mornings used to involve me waking up at 5:15am in order to be at work for 7am. I worked the early shift and picked the kids up from daycare. Matt dropped them off and started/ended work later. His mornings were pretty crappy. Wake kids up just after 6am so you can get them both fed/dressed/washed/groomed and out the door to daycare by 7:20am. Sounds easy, but it’s really not. And I’m sorry to say it, but it’s harder for most dads. But now, Matt’s mornings are all about him, and he loves that part. It also means our kids are less grumpy because they can sleep a little later, there is marginally less yelling in the morning, and they can even sleep in wee bit should they ever decide to.
Not feeling like an In-Law abuser. Before I quit working, whenever Matt would travel we’d rely on our parents to help with picking up the kids from daycare. They didn’t mind at all, but I always had a little guilt about needing them in that regard. Chalk that up to mom guilt 101.
Less busy weekends. Because I have the time, I can do stuff that I normally did on weekends, through the week. Groceries, post office, Costco trips. No job could ever pay me enough to make me go back to weekend Costco shopping. And the second best part is being able to just do whatever we want to on the weekends. Errands suck.
Naps. I sort of thought I would take a cute little nap every day when I was home. Apparently I forgot about Addison. Sorry kid. But because of her I haven’t reached my full potential in the napping department. Good thing she starts school in the fall.
Doing things I really want to do. My goal once Addison starts school is to spend a little time doing the things I like doing. Not mom things, or wife things, Amber things. I’m holding onto this dream, and it will be the life raft that gets me through the summer. Don’t kill it for me.
Plus, the obvious stuff. Who like to wear pants, let alone heels? Not this chick. And I like daytime TV, eating lunch at home, and as mentioned, never ever having to go into a Costco on a weekend. Ever. Confession: I’ve worn pajama pants under ski pants to walk my kid to school. Can’t do that at the office!
We still have crappy things happen to us that would have been less impactful had we had a little extra income (basement leaking, pricey car repairs, etc.) but we get through it on credit like all good citizens. Ha! Our “new renovation every season” plan has been renamed “annual partial renovation maybe”, and we’re kinda okay with that. It was hard in the beginning, but it’s getting easier as time goes on. Like jail, but with kids.
My recommendation is that everyone win $96 million dollars in the lottery so both parents can quit their jobs, but until that happens for you, I hope you’re finding peace in your family status.
I’m not done talking about this topic, so stay tuned…and thanks for reading…
Note: This isn’t meant to make anyone feel bad about their current situation. I just love this gig, and I’m truly appreciative for it. Mom guilt strikes again I guess.